Signs of Unprocessed Trauma
Trauma, in its many forms, can leave deep, enduring scars. Sometimes, these wounds remain unprocessed, subtly influencing various aspects of our lives without us being fully aware. Unprocessed trauma can manifest in many different areas of our lives, including our mental, emotional, and physical health, as well as our relationships. Recognizing the signs of unprocessed trauma in your own life can be overwhelming - but it can also be the first step in empowering you to heal and move towards a more balanced life.
Signs of Unprocessed Trauma
1. Persistent Anxiety or Depression
Not all anxiety or depression is a sign of trauma. These are mental health disorders that affect many of us. However, chronic anxiety and depression can also be rooted in unprocessed trauma. Trauma can disrupt our brain's chemistry, leading to long term mental health challenges, like constant worry, a pervasive sense of dread, or a lingering sadness that you can’t shake off. If you find yourself frequently feeling anxious or depressed without a clear cause, that anxiety or depression may be stemming from traumatic experiences in your past that haven’t been processed.
2. Emotional Numbness
Unprocessed trauma can lead to emotional numbness, making it hard to feel certain emotions, or the full range of certain emotions. This can be a defense mechanism your mind came up with during the traumatic event to protect you from the extent of the pain in that experience. Even after the traumatic event is over, your body may continue to use this protection strategy, leading to the emotional numbness. You might feel detached from your feelings, or no longer find joy in things that previously did bring you joy. Emotional numbness can also show up in your relationships, making it difficult to connect with others on a deep, emotional level.
3. Hypervigilance and Heightened Startle Response
Hypervigilance is a state of being constantly on edge, always on the lookout for potential danger. It makes sense that our bodies needed to be on hyper alert, if you are in a traumatic environment or event. Though this hypervigilence is very effective in keeping us safe from potential dangers in our environment, this heightened state of alertness can also be exhausting for our systems. Alongside this, an exaggerated startle response - jumping or reacting strongly to sudden noises or surprises - can mean that your nervous system is still stuck in a fight-or-flight mode from a traumatic experience.
4. Intrusive Thoughts and Flashbacks
Intrusive thoughts and flashbacks are hallmark signs of Post Traumatic Stress Disorder (PTSD) and other trauma related conditions. These unwanted memories can suddenly invade your mind, making you feel as though you are reliving the traumatic event. These flashbacks can be triggered by specific stimuli (such as sights, sounds, or smells) or may seem completely out of the blue. These experiences can be incredibly distressing and disruptive to daily life. If you are experiencing intrusive thoughts of the same event, thoughts, or beliefs, it may be a sign that there is still unprocessed trauma stored in your body.
5. Avoidance
Avoidance is a common coping mechanism for unprocessed trauma. Logically it makes perfect sense - trauma is unpleasant, bringing up painful feelings, harmful thoughts, or shaming beliefs. When something is unpleasant, our human nature is to avoid it. So you might go out of your way to avoid places, people, or situations that remind you of the traumatic event. While that avoidance can provide temporary relief, it often reinforces the trauma over time, making it more difficult to process and heal. If you find that you are avoiding certain contexts (even if you don’t do it consciously!) it may be another sign of unprocessed trauma.
6. Difficulty Sleeping
Sleep disturbances are another common sign of unprocessed trauma. Sometimes our bodies will use nightmares, insomnia, or restful moments (like sleep) to process that unresolved trauma. If you are experiencing chronic difficulty with sleep, especially if it’s the same ideas/thoughts/feelings disrupting your sleep, it may mean your body feels you have unresolved trauma.
7. Physical Symptoms
Trauma doesn’t only affect the mind, it can manifest in physical symptoms as well. Chronic pain, headaches, gastrointestinal issues, and other unexplained physical ailments can sometimes be traced back to unprocessed trauma. If you are experiencing physical symptoms that your medical doctor can’t figure out, it may be that your body is holding onto the trauma, manifesting it in physical discomfort or illness.
8. Self Destructive Behaviors
Unprocessed trauma can lead to self destructive behaviors as a means of coping with the pain. These behaviors can include substance abuse, self harm, eating disorders, or engaging in risky activities (sexually, financially, or in other ways). These self destructive behaviors can provide enough stimulation for our bodies to take our attention away from trauma. If you are engaging in these self destructive behaviors, it may be worth being curious if you are trying to numb or distract yourself from something.
9. Difficulty Trusting Others
Trauma, especially if it involved betrayal or harm from someone you trusted, can make it incredibly hard to trust others. You might find yourself constantly doubting people’s intentions, fearing abandonment, or having difficulty forming close relationships. Unfortunately, this mistrust can isolate you and prevent you from building healthy, supportive connections, which are integral in healing from trauma. If you experience difficulty forming meaningful connections with others, there may be unresolved trauma in your past that prevents you from doing so.
10. Low Self Esteem
Unprocessed trauma can severely impact your self esteem and how you view yourself. It can make us feel unworthy of love, and create a pervasive sense of shame about who we are as people. These negative self beliefs can often be rooted in a traumatic experience and can perpetuate a self fulfilling cycle of self criticism and low self worth. If you live with low self esteem, it may be a way that trauma is influencing your beliefs about yourself.
11. Overwhelmed by Stressors
If you find that the stressors of everyday life are inordinately overwhelming, or you find yourself having big reactions to small inconveniences, it could be a sign of unprocessed trauma. This overreaction is often a result of the nervous system being in a heightened state of arousal, where even small triggers can feel overwhelming. You can think of it this way - if your cup is already full (aka your nervous system is already working to deal with something), even one drop of water is enough to make the cup overflow. If your cup is empty (aka your nervous system is not already dealing with something), one or two drops of water don’t have much impact on the cup. This can lead to disproportionate emotional responses, such as anger, frustration, or despair, to situations that wouldn’t normally provoke such intense feelings. If you are often puzzled by your own reactions to certain situations, it may be that unprocessed trauma may be the cause.
12. Relationship Difficulties
As mentioned before, unprocessed trauma can significantly impact your relationships. You might find it hard to communicate effectively, struggle with intimacy, or experience frequent conflicts. Trauma can create patterns of behavior that are hard to break, such as pushing people away when they get too close or becoming overly dependent on others for validation and support. If you find a pattern of unhealthy relationship dynamics in your life, it may be that unprocessed trauma is making you recreate the same maladaptive patterns time and time again.
Steps Towards Healing
If you resonated with some of the points on this list, I hope it can empower you to take active steps to help your body heal. If you have unprocessed trauma, your body has most likely been working very hard for a long time. Recognizing these signs is the first step, and here are some next steps that you can take.
1. Seek Professional Help
Therapy, especially trauma-focused therapies such as IFS (Internal Family Systems) or EMDR (Eye Movement Desensitization and Reprocessing) can be incredibly beneficial in processing and healing from trauma.
2. Build a Support Network
As we mentioned, trauma can isolate you from keep connections with others. Take extra care to surround yourself with supportive, understanding people who can offer emotional support and encouragement as you navigate your healing journey.
3. Practice Self Compassion
Treat yourself like someone you love. That may look different for each of us, but take a moment to reflect on how you would treat someone you loved with every fiber of your being. Treat yourself that way.
4. Educate Yourself
Knowledge is power, and that’s not just a meaningless cliche. The more you know, the more empowered you are to use your knowledge in a way that serves you. Learning about trauma and its effects can help you understand your experiences and also reduce feelings of isolation or confusion.
5. Develop Healthy Coping Mechanisms
Trauma is hard for our bodies to deal with, that’s why it’s easy for us to develop unhealthy coping mechanisms. If you have self destructive behaviors from the trauma, replace them with healthier coping mechanisms, such as deep breathing exercises, progressive muscle relaxation, or creative outlets.
What Now?
Unprocessed trauma can cast a long shadow over your life, affecting your mental, emotional, physical, and relational wellbeing. Recognizing the signs of unprocessed trauma is a critical first step towards healing. If that first step doesn’t happen, no other healing steps can be taken. If you see yourself in these descriptions, know that you are not alone and that help is available. With the right support and resources, you can begin to process your trauma, heal your wounds, and move towards a healthier, more fulfilling life. If you would like to start your trauma healing journey, please reach out for a free consultation.