Fall in love with yourself

Valentine’s Day is marked by a lot of things. Balloons, chocolates, flowers, gifts, dinner. It’s one of the busiest days of the year for the service industry. But it can also be marked by a sense of sharp loneliness, regardless of whether or not you are in an intimate relationship.

Romantic relationships don’t have a monopoly on love. It is very possible to feel absolutely unknown and isolated when you are in a relationship with someone, as much as it is possible to not have a romantic partner and feel connected and recognized by others. You can experience love with your family, and share emotional intimacy with friends. Wherever you fall on the spectrum, now that the flurry of Valentine’s Day has passed, take some time to find love. And when it comes to your mental health and emotional wellbeing, self love is the most foundational love of all, and you can find it following these steps, rather than being dependent on who else is in your life.

Practice Self Compassion

No one is perfect. For some reason, it feels almost natural to expect yourself to be perfect, even though you wouldn’t expect that standard from others. Show yourself the same forgiveness and patience that you would show to a loved one.

Embrace Yourself

As individuals, there are many things that we can change about ourselves, like our hair. And there are also things that we cannot change about ourselves, like our natural body types. Loving yourself completely means understanding and embracing those things that are outside the locus of our control.

Recognize Yourself

What are some amazing things about you? Don’t let the positive things about yourself fade into the background. Be intentional about keeping it in the forefront, and recognize what you love and appreciate about yourself.

Develop a Routine of Gratitude

Our bodies engage in the most phenomenal feats every day. Even when we are find ourselves in the pit of depression, our bodies live to survive another day. Take a few minutes daily to be thankful for what your body does for you. Practice gratitude for the mundane things your body does for you every day.

Treat Yourself

It’s not just a catchy phrase - treating yourself is a healthy way to show yourself some genuine love. You can give yourself gifts for the sole purpose of joy and pleasure. Show yourself love by treating yourself to whatever brings you enjoyment.

Assert your Boundaries

“No” is a complete sentence, and you don’t have to feel guilty about that. Know that asserting your boundaries does not mean you don’t care about other people, or that you don’t want to help others. It just means you care about yourself too.

Don’t Discount the Positive

When you are making incremental progress on what you want to achieve, don’t discount that growth because they seem inconsequential or small. Celebrate your little steps, and know that you are already growing, even if you’re not at the final destination.

Don’t Compare

“Comparison is the thief of joy.” You don’t exist so you can be compared to others, you exist to live your own life. So focus on that, and release the need to measure yourself in comparison to others.

Practice these steps, and fall in love with yourself, maybe for the first time, or for the 17th time. You are someone worth loving and you might enjoy falling in love with this person.

Ji Eun KoComment