What To Do if You've Been Ghosted

What is Being Ghosted?

Being "ghosted" in a relationship can be a confusing and hurtful experience. Ghosting occurs when one person in the relationship suddenly cuts off all communication with the other person without any explanation. It can happen in romantic relationships, friendships, and even professional relationships. It can be a form of emotional abuse, leaving the person who was ghosted feeling ignored, rejected, and discarded. If you find yourself in this situation, it can be difficult to know what to do next. Together, we’ll explore some steps you can take to process your feelings and move on.

What to do When You’ve been Ghosted

Remember You’re Not Alone

First and foremost, it is important to remember that you are not alone in this experience. Ghosting is a common occurrence in today's digital age, and many people have gone through it. It can be a tough pill to swallow, but it's important to recognize that the other person's behavior is not a reflection of your worth as a human being.

Process What Happened

It's also important to take the time to process your feelings about what happened. You might be feeling a range of emotions, such as sadness, anger, confusion, and rejection. It's normal to feel these things, and it's important to allow yourself to feel them. Suppressing your emotions will only prolong the healing process. Write down your thoughts in a journal, talk to a friend or therapist, or do some other activity that helps you process your feelings.

Redefine Closure

One of the hardest parts of being ghosted is the lack of closure. Ghosting leaves you with a lot of unanswered questions, which can make it difficult to move on. While you can try reaching out to the person who ghosted you and ask for an explanation, remember that this should only be done if you feel ready and capable - especially since it is possible that the person who ghosted you will continue to be unresponsive and ignore you. The painful reality of being ghosted is that the other person might not respond or might not give you the closure you're looking for. If that’s the case, closure is not going to be something you get from the other person, but rather something you have to give yourself. Instead of getting the answers to all your ‘whys’, closure might instead look like embracing that there are some questions you might not ever get answered.

Focus on Yourself

Another way to get closure is to focus on the present moment and your own personal growth. This means taking time to focus on yourself and your own well-being. Engage in activities that you enjoy, and spend time with people who support and care about you. Make an effort to take care of your physical, emotional, and spiritual health. This can include things like exercising, practicing mindfulness, and eating a healthy diet. Are there friendships that you haven’t had time to invest in because of this relationship? Maybe now is the perfect time to rekindle those connections and relationships. Are there parts of your life that were unnurtured because you didn’t have the time and energy for them? You can return to those parts of your life. Or maybe there’s a new hobby or experience that you’ve wanted to experience, but never had the support to pursue - now could be a good time to dedicate some energy to those interests.

Regain Control

It's also important to remember that moving on from a ghosting experience does not mean that you are over the other person. It simply means that you are no longer allowing the experience to control your emotions and thoughts. It may take some time, but eventually, you'll be able to think about the person without feeling hurt or angry. You may still miss the person, miss the relationship, and be grieving the relationship, but you no longer have to be controlled by the pain of the experience of being ghosted.

At the End of the Day…

In the end, being ghosted can be a difficult and painful experience, but it's important to remember that you are not alone. Many people have been through it and have come out the other side. It's important to allow yourself to feel your feelings, focus on the present moment, and engage in self-compassion activities to help you move on. Remember that healing takes time, but with patience and self-kindness, you will eventually find closure and peace.

It's important to remember that the person who ghosted you made the decision to treat you that way, and it’s not a reflection of you as a person, nor does it define your worth. You deserve someone who will treat you with kindness and respect, so take time to process, heal and move on. Be compassionate to yourself and focus on your own well-being, you will come out stronger on the other side. If you’ve experienced ghosting and would like to explore the experience further in therapy, please contact us to schedule a phone consultation.