What About 2021?

2020 is finally over... But what about 2021?

For some, the New Year to The Biggest Monday of them all. The time of year when you take a good look at your life, make your list of New Year’s Resolutions, and are filled with hopes, plans, and excitement for what the year will bring. I’m sure many of us can relate to that feeling at the beginning 2020 - that 2020 would be even more exceptionally productive, meeting all of the exacting, high, and lofty expectations. As we know, 2020 did not pan out according to anybody’s expectations. 

Now that this unanticipated year has come to a close, what does that mean for 2021? It’s very tempting to be caught in the promise of The Biggest Monday - to use it as an opportunity to discard the grief, and to lock the pain in a box neatly labeled 2020, never to be opened again. The New Year is a time of new beginnings and fresh starts, why not capitalize on that to have closure on this painful year and leave it behind? 

Or maybe you’re the opposite. You are so drained and exhausted from 2020, the turn of the year doesn’t bring you any sense of hope or excitement. All you experience is the drudgery of what this year has been, and the continuation of the tunnel without any discernible light at the end. 2020 has been one formidable challenge after another, and a sense of hope or newness has felt out of your reach for months. 

Wherever you fall on the spectrum, as we enter the new year, it’s important for us to be mindful and compassionate to ourselves, our journeys, and circumstances. If we’re not deliberate about the past, it will inevitably come with us into the future. And, if we’re not careful, we may atrophy our ability to find hope in life.

So how can we practice self-compassion with our intentions for 2021? First, it’s by respecting and understanding the difficulties you’ve faced this year. Instead of locking them away in a box, or letting them overpower your world, face them straight on. Be clear about how the year has been difficult for you, disappointed you, challenged you, and maybe even pushed you down. And be kind to your 2020 Self, the one that was hurt, disappointed, pushed around, and lived in a global pandemic. 

Second, be mindful of your wellness in different areas of your life, and learn how those parts of you need more love and care (note, not more ‘improvement’!) next year. There are many different parts to wellness - emotional, environmental, financial, intellectual, professional, physical, social, and spiritual, to name a few. When you think about those parts of your life, what do they need in 2021 to heal and flourish? Try to identify one or two things to focus on from each category. Maybe you can declutter your space to change your environment, start learning a new skill to fulfill your intellectual curiosities, or incorporate a new spiritual routine into your week. Whatever they are, be sure that you are focusing on nurturing those parts of your life, rather than demanding high performance. 

Third, continue that practice of kindness when you think of what to expect in 2021. If you’ve never ran before, it’s neither kind nor compassionate to expect yourself to run a marathon by February. Similarly, we need to kindly embrace our current situation, such as the possibility of not getting a COVID vaccine until later this year, or jobs and schools continuing virtually until further notice. In other words, if you must use a measuring stick to measure progress, make sure it’s one that’s appropriately sized for the starting point you are at today. 

Lastly, invite people into your 2021 journey. Share with them what your 2020 was like, and what you are looking to in 2021. Give them permission to hold you accountable as needed, and to intervene with kindness and grace if you start flagging in self-compassion and kindness throughout the year.

As all of us prepare for 2021, I hope you can take the time to celebrate. Like working fingers and toes, or the continued support of your loved ones, if we look, there will always be something to be grateful for. And as we enter into 2021, I hope it’s a year filled with kindness and compassion, with hope and excitation, and with new healing and restoration after the year that 2020 has been.