I Want to be That for Pa

In many Asian American families, children can grow up hoping to fulfill the expectations of their parents. These expectations may be explicitly communicated: “you must grow up to be a doctor/lawyer, you need to get straight As, you need to be respectful to your elders, you are expected to obey what I say” amongst many other messages. These messages can also be implicitly given - even without words, kids can grow up knowing that their parents have specific hopes and expectations for them. And it can be natural for children to want to fulfill those expectations, because it makes them happy to see their parents happy, and it can provide a sense of doing something ‘worthy’, which can be a very alluring feeling for children. Did you experience any explicit or implicit expectations from your family growing up? What were they, and how did you respond to them? How did your parents respond when you met those expectations? And when it felt like you had missed the mark?

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